Hello everyone,
This post is a difficult one for me to write. It’s hard to explain to someone that the sight of food used to make me so anxious and even made me feel nauseous. It’s also hard to portray to someone that I used to go without food out of the simple fear that it might have triggered a panic attack. This is why I have not been very open about it, because I struggle to make people understand. I hope I achieve this in this blog post.
Being confronted with a plate of food shouldn’t fill someone with dread. After all, it’s what all of us need to survive and so it confuses me when I think of the times when my mind would tell me that I could go without eating meals. My problems with eating food have always been linked to my anxiety in the respect that whenever I felt overly anxious or was having a panic attack, I refused to eat food out of the fear it would make me feel sick. And because panic attacks used to be a daily occurrence for me, it should come as no surprise that I would skip meals every day.
While obviously I agree that this is very dangerous and can be incredibly detrimental to one’s physical health, this did not stop me from regularly eating a lot less than I should have been. And as such, my weight has dropped significantly. I have talked about this in more detail on one of my previous blog posts titled ‘Something a bit more personal’ that I uploaded on Sunday 2nd September.
Feelings of anxiousness about eating food have decreased massively since my anxiety has calmed down. My eating habits are a lot more regular and healthier now and I rarely miss meals. The results are becoming more obvious as time goes on. Although it does not look like it, I am slowly but surely gaining weight!
I am just going to sign this post off by saying that if you or someone you know is having similar problems with regards to eating properly, make sure you all look after yourselves and look out for each other. Always be considerate of people’s problems and struggles, never belittle them. Just remember, you are never alone and there is always help for you, should you need it!
Stay safe everyone,
B x
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